There is a toxic tendency within us to reflexively never be satisfied and always want something more. This prevents us from being happy as we keep waiting for the next fulfilment. Spiritual techniques weaken this tendency and make us happier regardless of what is happening around us.
Religions often set restrictions on desire or frown upon it – depending on interpretations. Buddhism, for example, says that desire and ignorance lie at the root of suffering. Bhagwad Gita, says pretty much the same thing.
The focus of this discussion is on what Bhagwad Gita says and if that can practically be of help to us. Here are three questions that I would break this topic down to:
- Why is desire a bad thing?
- What is the underlying cause of desire?
- If desire causes misery, what can we do to get past it to achieve true happiness?
Why is desire a bad thing?
To answer this, I will start by first attempting to define desire, as seen by Indian texts like Gita and Mahabharat (Yogananda’s interpretation).1 Desire is what a person wants at any given moment. It could be attention, power, money, or something as innocuous as a piece of bread. What a person wants right now can change fast. What I wanted a few minutes back may matter little to me at this present moment. Desire can shape-shift fast from one moment to another. It is volatile, capricious, and completely unconstrained by social norms or moral principles. It knows no logic. It is like a stubborn brat who might especially fixate on that which is denied. It is cussed and can remain adamant for years on something or shift focus within seconds to something else.
Gita says that desire is especially harmful because it starts a chain reaction in the mind including rise of anger (when desire is unfulfilled) – clouding judgement, weakening memory (making us lose sight of our personal moral compass or code of conduct), and destroying our peace-of-mind even as it is rages within. In a way, it often reduces our mental universe to that one thing that it fixates upon and subordinates all else. In so doing, it often makes a person’s view restricted to himself and makes the world a meaner place.
If we experience frustrated desire, it will engender anger and we will carry it within like a dormant volcano. This quiet anger may not be obvious to us but is likely to burst forth sooner or later. Notice that you get angry when you don’t get things the way you want at that very moment.
So, desire and its accompanying anger would keep our minds disturbed and away from peace. On an ongoing basis, desire keeps the mind off-balance and maintains anger just one breath away. Does this sound like a recipe for being happy? Far from it. Desire is so volatile, self-centred, and hard-charging that no mind can nurture it and truly be at peace. Such a mind can at best be at cold-peace that is one event away from blowing up into anger.
The worst trick desire plays on our mind is the destruction of self-awareness (as suggested by Gita Verse 2.63). Even as we repeatedly go through the above-described cycle of misery (desire -> anger -> loss of mental peace -> Repeat), we do not realise that we are the victims of our own desires. It is only when desire is suspended for some time (e.g. in a good meditation session) do we start feeling the happiness that is possible through its elimination. The pursuit of such unconditional happiness is the primary requirement for a making the person truly happy.
What can we do to get past desire and achieve true happiness
Countering desire is a difficult thing. Since we are emotional creatures and desire lies at the core of emotions, neutralising it first needs a strong will, to Strat with. It helps to see glimpses of unconditional happiness when one is meditating. If one can be happy without feeling any desire during meditation, it must be possible to be similarly happy for longer durations when desire is suspended. Experiences like those during deep meditation are key to building this will.
Next, we come to the question of how to dethrone desire inside the mind: Broadly speaking, we can use three ways to actively3 deal with desirer and the anger flowing from it: suppression, deflection, and transcending.
Start with suppression. It involves using the full force of will-power to restrain oneself from acting under the influence of desire or anger. A person exercising suppression absolutely wants to act in the heat of the moment when under the influence of desire or anger. He may well be playing out in his mind how he would do so. If he can successfully stop himself from such an action, he will likely feel that he barely succeeded, and he may just as well have been unsuccessful. The struggle remains precarious. At such moments, many of us would feel vulnerable in the face of the raging desire or anger.
A second way is deflection. For example, if I am upset with someone, I may try and placate myself by thinking that there have been times when that person has been good. Or, that I may have misunderstood. Or, that there are other mitigating circumstances that should be considered. Similarly, if I don’t get something I want, I may try and be happy with what I have and tell myself that I am already in a good place. This deflection strategy does not raise the level of my thinking. I continue to have my mind at the same level at which anger and desire are generated and operate. I just try to make peace within, on terms set by ego, desire, and anger.
The third way, transcending, is a very different approach from the earlier two. In this, a person tries to rise above the level of thinking that generates desire or anger. If this is successfully developed, the mind gets less and less disturbed by the forces of desire and anger. Compared to the earlier two, this “transcending” technique is not intuitive. And, it needs practice to implement. However, in my experience, this is the most effective.
Transcend, transcend, transcend
Transcending is a spiritual technique and cannot be perfected by operating at the same mental level at which desire and anger arise. The mind is incredibly stubborn and persistent when strong feelings are opposed by mere logic. Countering desire thus needs one to change how the mind fundamentally works with emotions.
In my experience, an effective way to get started on it is to train my mind to work in a manner that uses skills developed using meditation techniques. For more on this, see article on advanced meditation technique, TAME.
Thoughts, emotions, and breath are deeply intertwined – a bit like three strands of a rope. So, one can use disciplined control over breathing to control both thoughts and emotions.
The key premise of this article is that thoughts, emotions, and breath are intertwined in a way that is both subtle and strong. Since it is subtle, it is not easy to notice. And because it is strong, breath-control can be used to control emotions and thoughts. The suggested breathing techniques exploit this intertwining of emotions and breath. In TAME meditation, the person consciously intertwines outgoing breath with the emotions or thoughts he is struggling with. The outgoing breath is thus used to throw out desires and destructive thoughts from the mind as one would throw out trash.
Note that it may need at least a few weeks of daily practice (ideally of up to half an hour) to start showing results.
Closing notes
Failure is absence of trial or practice
The meditation that I am recommending needs practice. And its effectiveness comes from also applying it during non-meditation time when we are facing daily ups and downs. In such situations, failure is not the misfiring of a spiritual breath that was unable to subdue emotions. Such a breath can simply be followed by another attempt with the next breath. In-fact, I would call failure the conscious refusal to try. If one refuses to try, he will forego what could be the most powerful way to keep the mind peaceful and happy.
When one fails to transcend or block a desire-laden thought, he either welcomes or tolerates it. This free passage into the mind creates a sort of resonance within. It is as though the thought vibrates the mind and the mind willingly goes along (opposite of meditation stillness, which is a focus on TAME). This disturbance is subtle but can be felt by a practitioner of meditation. And this disturbance can initiate an action. It can also lead to the mind starting to plan an action when a specific situation occurs or when a certain person is met. This entire mental process lays the groundwork for acting under the specific desire and entrenches desires’ hold on the mind.
Self-awareness and introspection are key
Observing the psychosomatic reactions within when desire or anger flare up is important. For example, if such a flare up happens, notice how you tend to lose control over your breath moments before you lose control over your reaction. This is the reason breath-control is a central pillar of Yoga and Meditation. While self-awareness helps a person respond appropriately during the moment, introspection helps with the post-incident reflection that builds determination, learning, and better responses for the next time.
Footnotes
1: In Yogananda’s writing, desire has been personified by the character of Duryodhan in Mahabharat. I have written about my take on Mahabharat in this article and on on Ramayan here.
2: It should be emphasized that ancient Indian texts including Gita expressly and strongly advise against lethargy and inaction. The approach they prescribe is that action should be driven by a sense of duty rather than desire. Inaction and lethargy are recipes for creating future misery well in excess of that created by desire-driven action.
3: A passive way in which people often deal with desire or anger is regress into depression. In my view the use of the first two active strategies mentioned above (suppression and deflection) may lead to the same result.
Recommended Reading
Scientific Spirituality: A scientific, experiment-based approach towards spiritualism and ancient Indian texts could serve us well.
Controlling the mind: It is possible to acquire significant level of control over one’s mind and thereby live much happier lives. The approach may need to be radically different from what you might expect.
Controlling the mind – Article 2: Second in the series of articles on controlling the mind based on learnings from the Indian epic of Mahabharat. Here I cover the bad actors within the mind.
Controlling the mind – Article 3: Third in the series of articles on controlling the mind based on learnings from the Indian epic of Mahabharat. This post covers the good actors within the mind that make us more spiritual, at peace, and happy.
Mental Health risks may arise when desire and anger run amok: Desire and anger rage within most normal people but are kept in some level of check. When these checks are particularly ineffective, mental health issues may arise. Exploring how bad (mental) actors can be controlled might help.
